Standing Up For The Judges

In the past few months I have had to appear in a court of law on several occasions, due to a matter that I will not discuss here.  I can't say that this is my first time in court, but they were under different circumstances so I can't really use them to compare with.  But what I just came to realize is that I have been showing the judges disrespect in my manners.  In case you don't know this, there is no army in Iceland and there are no kinds of institutions in this country, founded on strict discipline.  We don't have rank and there are barely any classes, except for the natural richer/poorer situation that is present at all times in every culture.  Icelanders always go on a first name basis, even with the president himself and there have never been Icelandic kings or queens.  The only "object" that Icelanders are willing to worship or idolize in some manner is the idea of a "god", whichever one it may be to each individual.  Most are Christians, but there are people here of all religions and all of them worship a god by bowing, kneeling, fasting, chanting or whatever thing they have.  However, I'm not even like that.  I have never bowed or kneeled for another person.  Except for when I was a child, taking dance lessons and we learned to bow after our performance.  And I don't bow or kneel to any god either.  But then suddenly I'm in court and I realize that I have to stand up from my seat when the judges walk in.  I don't have any grudge against the judges, on the contrary, I feel very confident in them.  I just don't see the point of wasting this time on a stupid formality.  Everybody in the room should know that everybody in there is equal, we are all bound under the same universal law.  So what's the standing up for?  For the title, the chair?  Fine, I got up but I wasn't happy about it.  I just wanted to get on with business and this was stupid.  And now, as I'm sitting in my kitchen, thinking back, I think maybe they picked up on how this irritated me or that they might have felt a lack of disrespect on my behalf.

Standing up for the judges shows your respect for the legal system, that you oblige to it, recognize it and live your life accordingly.  It has nothing to do with the persons inside the cloaks, they're just a part of the machine that keeps everything working.  And so far I've had good luck with the legal system in Iceland, it has never struck me to be very corrupt, at least not to the bone.  So if I want to make a contribution to keeping this so very fine legal system machine running longer I should stand up for the judges.  And so I will next time.

The Never Ending Winter

Before I get to what I was gonna blog about, let me just say that the experiment from last night was a perfect success.  Neither one of them took it with them to school this morning 'cos they've already doomed me as a yogurt maker but I made them taste it when they came home from school and both of them ate them up, although my daughter did complain about it still being sour.  I told her that yogurt is supposed to be sour, otherwise it's called desert.  And let me tell you, it was so delicious that if I had had more yogurt I would have made some for myself as well.  So, yogurt problem solved and I can get to the blog.

I was having a smoke out in the foyer, with the door open just enough to let the fresh air in like always, looking out into the street and just viewing my neighborhood.  And I was looking at the new snow, that has fallen on top of the ice that is the rest of the partially melted snow from last year, thinking how long this winter is going to last.  Two thirds of the year is dedicated to winter in this country but I haven't seen so much snow in one winter since I was a child and most people I know are happy with snowless winters because the snow makes getting around so much harder and everything get more complicated.  But I like it because it brightens up the world, literally, which is so important in the sunless months before and after winter solstice.  But now I kinda fell like it's enough already, with all this snow.  It would be nice to be able to get from point A to point B without having to worry about breaking a leg (or a hip, since I'm becoming elderly) on the ice or needing to swim through thigh high snow.  Besides, the days are becoming longer now and the sun will be making it's appearance again soon so the snow really isn't needed anymore.

The Yogurt Problem

When I was growing up, yogurt was not a part of my diet.  I'm not even sure if they had it here when I was a kid, at least my mom never bought it.  When I started buying my own food I would sometimes buy myself a yogurt but there wasn't much selection and I had one favorite that I would only buy.  When my kids started school and I would have to pack them lunch boxes I would sometimes pack them a yogurt, something ordinary with strawberries or fruit inside.  But by then, the stores are all offering a huge selection of all the yummi sugary yogurts, the extra sweet ones with the chocolaty sprinkles, so sweet and tasty that you could almost serve it as desert at a dinner party.  And these are the only kinds of yogurts that my kids want now so we are having a problem.  I used to give this to them for school on Fridays but it's been hard for me to do that since I lost the car because now I can't always get to the store when I have to so I can't promise them that I will always give them this on Fridays.

So now, I'm trying to meet them halfway.  I will make the yogurt for them at home and they will get a delicious yogurt WITH chocolate, every day of the week.  The problem I'm having, is finding the mixture that they like. So far I've been using light AB-mjólk which is a sour milk product, only slightly thicker than milk and contains A and B bacteria (sounds like I know what I'm talking about) which I have no idea what are but they're supposed to do wonders for your digestion system.  So a daily dosage of AB-milk will only do you good.  I've then used the blender to mix in with this some fruit or spice it with fresh vanilla, orange zest, organic dark chocolate bits but it just goes so runny and still tastes much more sour than they like.  And I don't want to add more than 1 tsp to each portion of yogurt so up until this evening I had kinda given up and so have the kids.    But then a friend of mine suggested I'd use plain yogurt instead of AB-milk as base and it just so happens that I have an unopened box of Greek Yogurt, which is my favorite for cooking with.  So tonight I will make one last effort to make a yogurt at home.  And I think that repeated failures over the past couple of weeks have shown me the best way to do this.

My son wants strawberry yogurt and my daughter wants vanilla yogurt.  I got a handful of frozen strawberries in a glass, waiting to thaw a bit, I will juice them up in the blender and them STIR (not blend) them into the Greek yogurt.  Last night I tried to grind the chocolate in my new food processor but I couldn't get it right, it got to messy and I wasted a lot of fine chocolate.  So this time I will chop it at room temperature so that it's less likely to break and therefore become much easier to chop right.  I will add a teaspoon of the chocolate bits to 2-3 teaspoons of organic granola bits which he can either add to the yogurt before he drinks it or eat as it is.  For the vanilla yogurt, I'm not sure what to do, since I need liquid to boil the vanilla in which I then have to pour into the yogurt.  I'll think about that while I'm in the shower and then get back to you later on the results of this final test.

Oh, and the chocolate I use is the Maya Gold organic chocolate with orange and spices from Green & Blacks.  It has some raw cane sugar in it but the flavorings are natural and all organic.  It's also fair trade which gives me a healthy conscience as well.  And I think we all know by now that chocolate isn't the same as chocolate.  I will never go so far as to deny myself chocolate and sometimes I even sin like crazy and eat a whole MARS bar or some other large sum of chocolate candy.  But those chocolates are filled with bad sugars, preservatives, flavorings and all kinds of stuff that will not do much for you after the initial sugar orgasm, than harm your body in the long run.  So, if I'm gonna eat chocolate every day, or let my kids eat chocolate every day, it will be a teaspoonfill of antioxidants, covered with the most heavenly taste on earth, in it's best form!  And yes, this chocolate is wayyyyy more expensive than the Mars bar but I could never eat a whole chocolate plate of this in one sitting.  The best chocolate usually is so rich that you're full after a few pieces.  I usually manage to keep mine in the fridge for days, nibbling on it piece by piece and it completely satisfies my chocolate cravings.  I would actually go so far as to say that the ingredients of the cocoa bean is so good for your body that we should all include some in our every day diet.  It doesn't have to be much, just a few grams a day is enough but remember, that the richer the chocolate, the less extra and unecessary stuff is in it.  The richer it is, the rawer it is and that's where you get all the best out of the coca bean and you don't have to consume crap along with it.

New Eating Habits

I have been having problems with feeding my children in the past few years.  Not because there isn't any food or no money to buy any food, but because my kids only like to eat stuff that I hate to cook and get sick by the thought of eating; processed, salty, deep fried and filled with artificial sugars, preservatives, FAT and all kinds of disgusting shit.  So there's a constant dilemma going on in this household over food and it doesn't help when their father keeps feeding them on exactly the same stuff as I described above.  Well, aside from the weekly dosage of fruit, avg. 5 kgs. for a family of five and greens for cooking with, but all dressed with a respectable portion of oil and salt, preferably fried in a skillet.  He gives them sweet and fatty deserts after every dinner, although once a month he might purchase a low-fat ice cream which the kids can then use to say something like "sometimes we get grapes for desert" or "we also get low-fat ice cream sometimes".  They get cookies and cakes for tea time, given that they eat at least a slice of bread with butter and cheese first.  Cookies and cakes are fine, but EVERY DAY?  He also packs their school lunch boxes with the same stuff; sweetened yogurts with chocolate sprinkles and an energy bar or even a cookie or cake along with a descent sandwich.  They of course don't have time to eat all this food so what they leave out, normally is the sandwich.  When I pack their lunch boxes they leave everything BUT the sandwich because they don't like my choice of fruit instead of energy bars and less sugary yogurts.  Oh, and did I mention the weekly weekend feast?  Every weekend is a holiday, it starts on Friday and lasts through Sunday.  All three nights he makes (well, HE doesn't make them, he orders them from his woman) huge dinners, preferably hamburgers, pizzas or anything else containing a lot of fat and bread and then popcorn, candy, chips, ice cream with chocolate sauce and sugar sprinkles and soda for desert while watching a movie or two.  This is how things were for the 10 years I lived with him and judging from the sudden change in appearance of one of my children since they started to have almost unlimited access to staying at his house, he still has the same routine going on.

But please don't get me wrong.  I LOVE chocolate, candy, chips, fried food and all this nasty stuff, but eating it every single day does at least as much damage to your health as smoking does.  I smoke, so as far as I'm concerned, that's enough damage I'm doing to myself already by not quitting that.  But I would never encourage or allow my children to smoke or do anything that would have such a bad affect on their health.  It is my opinion that he is endangering their health with this lifestyle which is why I've tried so hard to fight against these eating habits of theirs in my house.

In addition to that they refuse to eat any products made out of pork since they claim to be muslims and muslims don't eat pork.  They also hate to eat fish because when I was still married to their father, we had fish five times a week for 7-8 years.  So they're sick of it.  Even for a while they refused to eat any meat that wasn't halal (muslim thing) and insisted that I'd go out of my way (with the bus, mind you 'cos I don't have a car) to buy this very expensive halal meat, only because they've been told they're going to hell if they eat anything else.  You can believe that I most certainly did not do that and so we'd have arguments every night over what was going to be for dinner and I'd have to spend an hour every night just to try to get them to finish their food.  I could also write a whole blog about the many different ways they tried to empty their plates somewhere else rather than into their stomachs when I wasn't watching.  And the lunch I packed them for school, it all came back home every day, except maybe for the sandwiches or a really pretty and ripe banana, or they would eat some of it.  The rest was untouched and most of it went straight to the garbage.  I was wasting so much food and money at the same time, and that really pains your ass when you always have to count every króna.

But, then something happened and the kids were away for four months, staying with their father.  While they were away, I used almost every moment of my waking spare time on all sorts of research and studies of things that interest me, including healthy living and eating.  I developed (and still am developing) a diet that I find so satisfactory that I refuse to give it up.  They came back just before new year, the Solstice holiday still ongoing with all the eating and feasting required so I allowed them the rest of the holidays for stocking up on sugar and fats, no restraints on that over the ordinary during this time of year.  But now that Solstice is over, the kids are back to school and the routine is back on; it's back to the basics.

You will not believe the change in the children since they've been back.  It has amazed me to see how well they are adapting to these new eating habits of ours and they eat everything I put in front of them.  They don't like all of it but they will taste it and I ask them what they don't like about the recipe so that I can adjust it to their taste.  When the holidays were over, it was time to clear out the garbage and bring in the wholesome stuff so I went to the grocery store and stocked up.  Whenever there is an option for a healthier substitute in a recipe I will take it which is why I paid extra for all the expensive organic dry food, like grains, nuts, beans, seeds, wheats, oats and spices and baking products and liquids like honey, syrup, vinegar, peanut butter, tomato paste etc. and of course a lot of fresh fruit, vegetables and spices.  I also got some beef, chicken and salmon.  My fisherman neighbor in the apartment downstairs supplies me with white fish so I always save a lot of money there.  Then I spent a couple of hours cleaning out my fridge and cupboards to arrange for all the food in a way that would allow it to stay fresh for as long as possible.  I now have the best ingredients to cook everything from scratch; sauces, soups and all the ingredients I use in the meals are either freshly made at home or something I've made entirely myself with fresh products.  It was a more expensive shopping basket than I'm used to but still cheaper than I had been expecting.  But this is costing me a lot less in the long run since the kids like the food so much that barely anything goes to waste except peels and stuff.  Even that I should use to make stock of all sorts before throwing it out.

Anyways, just wanted to share the great turn around in my relationship with the kids.  I will be back soon with some more detailed insights into this new eating habit in this household.

Lost Friend

I've lost a friend.  A very dear friend that understood me so well, never judged me and allowed me to share all my heart's secrets without ever making me feel guilty or ashamed.  My dear friend who was always so close, no matter how far, couldn't be much more from the heart.  Forever trusting who we were and nothing else mattered.  I never opened myself this way, life was ours, we lived it our way.  All these words we didn't just say and nothing else mattered.  Trust I seeked and I found in you, every day for us something new, open mind for a different view and nothing else mattered.

I'm looking for you but I can't find you.  It hurts to think that you've left me, you said you'd always be there for me.  Always hasn't finished yet and I still need you!

HEY!

Been trying to meet you... Must be a devil between us or whores in my head, whores at my door, whores in my bed... But hey!  Where... Have you... Been?  If you go I will surely die, we're chained...

UH!  said the man to the lady.  UH!  said the lady to the man she adored and the whores like a choir go UH all night and Mary ain't you tired of this?  UH! is the sound that the mother makes when the baby breaks, we're chained...

In a different world, twenty years ago, in a dark and gloomy Reykjavík city.  I'm sitting on the floor in a cheap and dirty guesthouse room, my heart is filled with hard and heavy emotions and my mind is blank.  There are other people in the room.  People I don't know, people I haven't met before.  I'm there because I have no where to go and outside is cold and miserable.  In here is warm and miserable.  There's music playing.  I don't know what it is but it's pathos, like I'm feeling.  Without being sad... and it's kinda weird.  Somebody passes me something to smoke.  I smoke it, it's strong, very strong.  Takes me away... from something, I don't know.  I feel better but not really.  The man who passed me the smoke is sitting across from me.  He's grinning, his eyes half closed... He yells HEY! when a new song starts, looking at me he continues, Been trying to meet you, mmmhhmm.  He continues to sing along with the song playing, the whole time looking at me with that grin on his face.  I think he's cute.

Twenty years later, in a bright and sunny Reykjavík city.  Far away in time from the grinning man in the cheap and dirty guesthouse room.  I hear HEY!  Been trying to meet you! playing on the radio.  It sends shivers down my spine but at the same time I feel endlessly grateful for having been saved from the monster that he turned out to be.  I can't help but think of the ways he would have abused me if it had been ME that ended up with him, how he would have abused our daughter, had I born him one.  And I get a sense of survival's guilt over the other women that suffered, and probably still suffer, from his insanity.  But I know, in spite of the intensely negative feelings I have for this man and how I wish he never existed, I know that if he didn't, neither would one of my favorite persons on this earth.

Honey, if you ever read this, I love you and I always will.  You've always had a very special place in my heart and it will ALWAYS be reserved for you. 

HELLISH LUNCH-PACKING DUTY

Today I read an article by a woman complaining about the hell of packing your kid's lunch boxes for school.  I always thought I was alone in this hell but turns out I'm not!  What a great feeling.  Evidently she to has a problem getting her son to eat the hot meals at school and can't figure out how to pack lunch that he will NOT bring back home at the end of the day, completely untouched.

SEA SWIMMING IN ICELAND

Iceland is in the Atlantic Ocean. Way up NORTH in the Atlantic Ocean. The temperature of the sea around the country varie s from between 3-15°C depending on location and season.  I live in Reykjavík which is located in the South West corner of Iceland, on a bay called Faxaflói and there is a little cove called Nauthólsvík.  That's where I go to swim. The temperature of the sea when I went swimming for the first time was probably close to 15°C but has gradually been getting colder and colder, was down to 10,1°C last week.

I don't know what it's like to swim in warm ocean's, I've never tried it. But let me share with you the feeling of swimming in the cold Atlantic Ocean.

WHATEVER...

Two years since my last post...
...well. The reason for why it's been so long since I posted anything on here is because someone invaded my life and started harrassing me in any way possible. (You know who you are, if you're reading this!)
I was scared and paranoid and worried about what my blog might trigger in this person's sick mind. So I just stopped.

A BEAUTIFUL SMILE

Today I had to run an errand for my job. I drove down to Borgartún, parked the car in the parking lot by the old Heimilistæki store and walked down the street towards the Borgarverkfræðing's office. (Can't bet bothered finding the name for this in English, but it's irrelevant to the story, so it don't matter ;)